6.08.2010

The Garden Gate

When I moved up to my new house in Rhode Island, my garden was a dust bowl. Once I decided that I wanted my front yard to be full of flowers, shrubs and trees--no lawn--I had to put up a fence to keep the deer out. It was only at the last minute that I realized I needed to block the entrance from the street as well. Deer make no distinction between prancing into the garden daintily via the road versus tromping up through the backfields--they’re heading for the fresh, organic greens whichever way they can get to them.

So up went a garden gate. I have never had a gate before, and I fell in love with it. There is something childlike about the feeling of security I get from latching the gate behind me when I come home--or the anticipation I experience when I approach, wondering how the new arrivals from the nursery have held up. The gate, I notice, is agnostic about whether its message is “Welcome” or “Keep Out”. I suppose it depends on my visitors’ moods.

For its first year, the gate remained unadorned. Then, one morning my son Theo and I wandered into the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York. (I’ve included a picture of a detail of the astonishing sculpture outside that first drew us to the cathedral.) We happened upon several Tibetan monks making an intricate, exquisitely patterned mandala out of colored sands. They had set up a small table with souvenirs, so we bought a box of incense (for which we both have a weakness) and a string of Tibetan Prayer Flags. I hung the flags across my gate as soon as I got home, where they looked quite cheery, though it did cross my mind to wonder how I had become the sort of person who goes in for bird feeders, wind chimes, and Buddhist accessories. Oh well.

Then I realized I had no idea what the prayers were actually praying for, and that bothered me. What if they were calling down revenge? Unlikely, given the provenance, but still….So a quick visit to the beloved Wikipedia yielded the information that prayer flags do not actually carry prayers to gods. They are “used to promote peach, compassion, strength and wisdom.” Tibetans believe the prayers and mantras will be blown by the wind to spread good will to everyone.

“The prayers of a flag become a permanent part of the universe as the images fade from exposure to the elements”--which, I might add, seems to happen within a week of sun and rain. “Just as life move on and is replaced by new life, Tibetans renew their hopes for the world by continually mounting new flags alongside the old. This act symbolizes a welcoming of life changes and an acknowledgement that all beings are part of a great ongoing cycle.”

So that answers that. Those prayer flags came into my life with slow love. 

30 comments:

Flick, said...

I love garden gates too... yours is really cute, as it's still inviting. Every time you mention the deer, it makes me laugh.. I just can't imagine them raiding gardens at all, let alone via the street front!
:) Flick

dterrydraw said...

1) to "Flick". your comment about deer leaves me considering that, wherever you live, it isn't anywhere around here (central North Carolina, to be exact). A friend of mine, who'd saved up for YEARS to buy herself a house, is currently and utterly distraught to find that she can't keep any sort of garden at her new house in Chapel Hill. There are THOUSANDS of starving deer in politically-correct, "Don't Kill Bambi's-Mother" Orange County. Deer are practically busting through folks' front windows to get at the houseplants. In any case, this friend recently and grimly told me, as I was looking over her thrice-planted and thrice devastated (in 2 years and at considerable expense)front garden, that she'd begun referring to it as "The Gaza Strip" for obvious reasons.

(2) Regarding your prayer flags, Ms. Browning? ....

Another friend of mine (a very smart, practical, no-nonsense sort of woman) is, as a very general rule and over the past fifteen years, quite understanding (or at least tolerant)of her somewhat-dippy husband's penchant for mandalas, prayer flags, incense (she does insist these must be burnt OUTside), and all other sorts of vaguely "spiritual" paraphernalia. I should emphasize that she's the daughter of a high-church Episcopal priest from Charleston, and her husband was raised in an utterly non-religious family in Cleveland. As far as I can tell, she acts like a person who, having already had more than plenty to eat earlier, says "Oh, I've already had enough before you came home....you go ahead and eat as much as you want now..."

In any case, he's draped their entire front porch with rows of prayer flags he picked up at some shop...all of which have, over the past year, faded and worn-out and generally gone to the dogs. She was in the process taking them down one morning when he rushed out onto the porch to inform her that she COULDN'T POSSIBLY take them down...they had to "wither" and re-join the elements or something along those lines. She reminded him that this is humid North Carolina, not the Tibetan plateau...and that these things were rotting and collecting bugs.

I've heard both sides of the story and have kept my mouth shut for once.

---David Terry

dterrydraw said...

One other observation/response....

(3) As for hanging things decorated with inscriptions you can't read?.....

Oddly enough, I can think of only one gallery where I am definitively Not Welcome. I was dragged there about six years ago by some well-intentioned friends who were terribly excited about the currently-exhibiting artist......a fellow (I didn't know him, then) who made great hay out of "incorporating" various stuff that, I gathered from the press-release, explored the "nexuses" between mythology, various religions, blah-blah-blah.

Essentially, he xeroxed stuff (the only word I can think of) and glued it onto various plexiglass panels, which he then did "painterly" stuff to before gluing another transparent plexiglass panel (with more xeroxed stuff glued onto it) on top of the previous plastic-panel.....etcetera.etcetera.ad infinitum. All I could gather was that he was just about as thorough a theologian as Madonna was/is.

I was minding my manners (more accurately, trying to avoid folks and wishing I owned a watch) when a chicly-dressed couple came up beside me and began rhapsodizing over the "complexity" and "significance" and "MEANING" of the piece I'd decided to stare at until I was allowed to leave.

For some ill-advised reason, the woman spoke to me...."I just love _____'s work! Isn't this piece WONDERFUL! I wish I could READ what it said!....I guess that's LATIN!"

She pointed at the piece's center image, which was, rather obviously, a page torn from an old book. I simply told her "Actually, it's not exactly 'mystical'. It's from a treatise on hydraulics." (which it was).

Unfortunately, the gallery owner had just come up behind me to schmooze and was glaring at me as though I'd just robbed the cash-register.

Which, come to think of it.....I suppose I had just done.

In any case, thanks for the predictably good posting.

Sincerely,

David Terry
www.davidterryart.com

Cristina said...

...well, what's the grudge against wind chimes?! ;-)

Karen said...

A friend of mine planted a vegetable garden for the first time last year and hung prayer flags along the fence enclosing it. It was way cool. And her vegetable garden was a success.

Elizabeth said...

I finished SLOW LOVE on SUNDAY.Closed the book and cried...for about 10 minutes!It really touched me.Just have to tell you my youngest too had a sheepskin blanket and I have kept all the bits......could never throw them out!Sometimes I still find bits of it in the oddest places!That says a lot of my cleaning ability!He will be 21 OCT>FIRST.

Tricia Rose said...

I put up a gate to keep my cat in (she is old and can't jump - she's a white cat...) I love the sound of the latch! I think, who could it be? and I enjoy the sense of enclosure.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

And they remind me of bunting, which is such a happy thing!

mary said...

In The Hidden Messages of Water Masaru Emoto details what the effects of positive thoughts/statements have on jars of water. I suspect that the same principal applies to Tibetan Prayers flags. Only good can come of sending love in the world. This little book was one of the steps to pushing me forward.
Always, inspired by your post.

Green Key said...

@dterrydraw - As a practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism I can tell you (so you can tell your friend) that prayer flags do not have to be left to disintegrate, although they often are. I think that letting them go back to nature is mostly done in natural settings. When they are used to decorate buildings, they are usually kept "fresh." It is proper to burn them when they are no longer wanted. This is traditionally done the day before the Tibetan New Year (Losar). New flags are put up on the first day of the new year, which is very much about having a fresh start.

SPLENDEROSA said...

Dominique, this is lovely. I understand completely about the gate, the sense of security and privacy and "this is my space" kinda thing. Wonder why the deer don't eat weeds? Everything in our world has a mystical magic to it, everything natural, that is. The flags are wonderful knowing the story, but if one wanted to be done with them, perhaps burying them in the garden or in a pot so they become one with the Earth again. Gwen Driscoll at Ragland Social wrote a lovely post about you yesterday, BTW. xx's Marsha

Brandon said...

I like to promote peaches, too. :0)

dterrydraw said...

to "green Key",

thank you, of course, for your response and its ( I haven't any doubt) well-informed tips.

That said?...I probably won't be passing your advice on to my friend's husband (she's the friend, not him.....for better or worse, I've spent the past thirty years in drawing a very strict line between people and pastry when it comes to the desirability of "flakey-ness").

I should mention that on any particular new year's day, he's as likely to be stencilling "celtic woman-craft" circles onto the ceiling as he is to be burning tibetan flags....or you might just find him suddenly deciding to go all Southern and insisting that everyone eat hopping-john for good luck. It just depends on what he's read in the past six months.

In short?...he's a quite suggestible and easily excited sort of man in regard to this sort of stuff (i.e., other folks' religions). In other regards?...he's a perfectly fine husband and father, so it's easy to endure any of his various & shifting enthusiasms.

Just for the record?...I'm a middle-aged and proably unedifyingly orthodox episcopalian who's too fat and old to even begin contemplating the prospect of learning anything new. I bareley got through confirmation classes when I was twelve and still had my wits about me.

Sadly yours,

David Terry
www.davidterryart.com

One Woman's Journey said...

My son lives in Thailand part of the year. A son who was raised by a Baptist mother and we were in church every Sunday. I read much about Buddhist to try and understand my son being drawn to this. The more I read - the more I understand. The table beside my reading chair is filled with books by Thich Nhat Hanh. Prayer flags blow in the wind on the walking path by my home in the woods.
I am a new visitor to your site and everytime I visit - I am never disappointed. We have a lot in common.

dterrydraw said...

A Necessary Postscript.....

Having just read over what I intially wrote this morning, it's occurred to me that my phrase "vaguely 'spiritual' " might seem condescending (at best...) or insulting.

I should emphasize that I'm more than well aware that mandalas,incense, & prayer flags (etcetera)are part of many-many folks' quite-sincere and long-practiced faith.

I just have a sort of narrow-minded (I expect), middle-agedly crabby-ass impatience with folks who are stringing up Tibetan prayer flags one day, lighting menorahs (sp?) the next day, and generally playing inter-denominational hopscotch every time you THOUGHT you were just coming over for dinner....

And, yes...I know just about every joke ever told about Unitarians....

In any case, I wanted to make it clear that I didn't, in my initial remarks, in the least intend to sound disrespectful of any particular religion or its adherents/practicioners (sp?).

Sincerely,

David Terry

gather said...

I have always wanted the flags and just never came upon any to purchase. I always liked the colors. Now I can buy them and know why even more.

The Zhush said...

Just popped over from Gwen Driscoll's blog. Loved this post. The first thing we did when we moved to Northern Westchester in NY, was to deer fence in our whole property...except for the driveway. We learned the hard way (we were city folks) that deer can easily march up the driveway single file! Needless to say we now have an automatic gate at our driveway entrance, and this makes me feel very secure indeed! Loved reading about the prayer flags as well. Especially since I know that famous Cathedral so very well!

Anonymous said...

Dominque, can you say what that Sun-faced sculpture is?

lostpastremembered said...

and peaceable giraffes looking on. He has done another one in Gramercy park called the Fantasy Fountain that also has that beatific sun face and giraffes... a loved theme I should say. Perhaps you can commission a piece for your gate??
That said, I love enclosed gardens! Unlike the open plan, a walled garden compels you to try to peak inside to see what magic lies beyond...and keeps the lovely deer at bay!

Anonymous said...

"lostpastremembere..."

I missed the first part of you thinking. Eho is it who does these sculptures?
Dominique, any help here?
Thanks for your blog.
FxFairy

Joan said...

I would love to have a peek behind the gate. I really enjoy your posts and look forward to them.

Michele from Boston said...

Dear Dominique-
Just wanted to let you know that you were wonderful this morning in your interview w/George Stephanopoulos! You looked fabulous as well. I'm so glad you wrote the book (I could have used it when my old company closed in 1995) and since I really missed your monthly editor's page from H&G, I'm so thrilled you're writing a blog now. Kudos all round!

Dominique said...

Thank you everyone!
I'm sorry to have been such a sloppy reporter when I visited that statue; I didn't think I would even use the picture, as I hadn't yet entered....and will learn more and respond accurately as soon as I can.
David Terry, I am still laughing at your comments...well, as I've slid into the flaky pastry section, I'll just promise never to let bugs collect...and of course I LOVE wind chimes. I just kept having to take them down when a certain someone complained they kept him awake. Whereas, for me, they ring the way into dreamland...

Pattyann said...

Oh my....I hope you hung the chimes again and leave them up no matter what!!! If a certain someone complains, hand him some earplugs.

Madgew said...

I too have a gate to my house where I have a wide porch with a cactus garden and all sorts of items including a Tibetan Prayer flag which has changed colors as it's thoughts pass through my yard.

Anonymous said...

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