9.08.2010

POLISHING THE TABLE


It's that time again (and again and again). Time for Cleaning Therapy. End of summer, and I'm getting the house back in order after months of Messy (but delightful) Theo, and house guests, and dog guests, and crawly creature guests, and the kind of Internet disorders that forced me to move my own messy desk onto the dining room table. The stuff of life, in other words.

I have not seen the entire surface of my dinner table in several months. Theo and I just pushed things to one end when we wanted to eat our meals. When others joined us we piled things on the floor, and put them back the next morning. I began to sort through papers--there was the sheet of song lyrics Theo had been working on, there was the bill I should have paid a while back, there was an article about me in Russian, which looked cool but was incomprehensible, there was a business card someone had tucked into my hand during a reading. But the real discovery came when the table was entirely cleared. Rings.

At first I was annoyed. We ought to have been more careful about the coasters. (And we never are. I don't like the way they stick to the bottom of cold drinks and clatter to the table when you accidentally pick them up with your glass...) Then I stared into the interlocking pattern of rings, and thought about all the cups of tea and glasses of lemonade and bowls of oatmeal we had shared. I thought about how the table bore the scars of loving, carefree, joyful occasions. I began to wish that I could date each ring, so that I could learn from them the things you read in the rings of a tree. As I gazed at the surface, I thought about how a smattering of thin, tight rings might indicate drought, stress. Fat rings--lusher and more plentiful--meant a summer of greater nourishment. Judging by this summer's vivid, varied and abundant growth on my table, we enjoyed a rich and companionable season.

I began to polish, because the table needs to be fed, too. I have hauled that table from one house to another for 26 years. I had it made in Texas the year my older son was born, from planks of pecan wood that I selected, in honor of the pecan trees that once covered the Austin area. As I polished, I thought about one of my favorite new subjects: Mono tasking versus multi-tasking. I am a terrific multi-tasker from way back. You have to be, in order to be a good secretary or personal assistant, or a good editor or manager, or a good mother and friend. Multi-tasking has long been a strength.

Mono-tasking has long been a weakness. There are times when I am doing everything--and nothing. Eating an egg while cleaning dishes in the sink. Talking to a friend while putting away clothes. Not present in any one thing. Scattered. Productive, but not really engaged. I am now working on my mono-tasking skills. Doing only one thing, with concentration. Staying with it. Seeing it through to the end. Letting it carry my mind somewhere unexpected.

I rubbed and rubbed, and as the oil swirled across the surface and the linen left its tiny patterns, I went into a place of profound gratitude for the table, for the way it gave us a place to gather, and do our work, and break bread, and share our thoughts. We laughed at that table, this summer, and we cried there too, and quibbled and snarled and roared and barked and all the other things friends and family do with one another.

As I clean, I am drawing the house back into its quiet, calm ways. Clear surfaces soothe me. My table gleams, now; its surface tranquil. But in the depths of the polish, I will always be able to find the rings of growth we added this year. And I have made room for the next season of pleasure.

44 comments:

Madgew said...

I really loved this story and all that is represented in that table. Enjoy the peacefulness of mono tasking. I like it.

One Woman's Journey said...

My big table similar to yours.
From home to home - piled high, empty, few rings and on and on.
Thank you for this beautiful story.
Wish I had written it :)

Splendid Sass said...

Such a nice story. I think we can all relate to what you are writing here.
Have a nice day.
Teresa

TechnoBabe said...

Mono tasking sounds like a good goal for me right now too. Learning multi tasking with various jobs and even parenting and suddenly retired and not working. I find myself starting one project, running across something else, interrupting the first job, starting another. Learning to slow down and take care of one thing at a time is new. I like your table. I have a wonderful chest of drawers of pecan. Very sturdy.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

I find that fall cleaning always seems more important to me than spring cleaning. September will forever seem like the start of a new year to me. And I can never seem to think clearly if I cannot see the surface of my dining room table!

barbara said...

Loved this post! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who hasn't seen their dining room table bare for quite some time! Like you I use it as my desk... primarily because I'm more comfortable in the center of the house, the hub so to speak. But it's definitely time for some deep cleaning.
Thanks for the post!

Scribbler said...

You always remind me to slow down!

I like the idea of viewing the rings on the table as something like laugh lines. I know I earned every one of mine, and don't want them "procedured" out!

Ellen

karensandburg said...

Clear surfaces, clean spaces. When i finished building my contemporary house, I was anxious to fill it up, not knowing how full it would be when i slowed down, but i used restraint and slowed to a near halt when many surfaces were still clear and many walls still blank. Beauty is often just a feeling of potential, and there you have it on that shiny table, a clear surface ready for new beginnings...

Rebekah said...

"Mono Tasking." Love that! Have no idea how to accomplish it, but love it anyhow.
Your blog is lovely!
www.yourblogislovely.blogspot.com

mary said...

Tears are running down my cheeks as I read this--true patina and growth take so many layers of rings. And finding the quiet place within from which to mono-task so that the task becomes a type of meditation is one of my projects--it is healing my soul and brain. Things like polishing silver or ironing or even grooming Jones bring order and deep breaths.
As always, you inspire my mornings. Thank you.

Sally said...

I'd love to know what product to use to polish your lovely table. I have my greatgrandparents "Texas" table, made from pecan. And am about to tackle those darned rings and not sure what to use.

WHTC said...

Thank you for this blog. I loved it. Just this morning I was feeling frantic about the work I need to do with my own book out this winter, drs appointments that need to be made and canceled, trip plans finalized, a fall wedding, etc etc. I was looking at our house and how the office my husband and I share was a mess and how little time it seems we have to get everything ready for a productive year--and then I read this. Suddenly all the crayon marks from my 20 month old on the table from pictures of "choo choos" and "seals" that were mostly ON the kitchen table seem ok. Suddenly the messy office, the pile of papers, the cluttered, sandy bathroom--all ok. What matters is we had a fabulous summer swimming and being together, laughing and exploring. We can do this other stuff--and we're not alone, we all have a stack of papers to get to.
Thank you. Caitlin Shetterly

Jacqueline said...

HURRAH! HURRAH! for mono-tasking.
My sister is trying to engage with her new little house. Although living there for four months, she has been in and out and hasn't fully vested. So right now, she is cleaning and polishing as she introduces her self to this sacred space called home.

Natalie said...

I enjoy reading your lovely blog slowly. Each time like talking to a dearest friend...Thank you.
I'd love to do at least something in return. If you're still curious what's in that Russian article you mentioned pls e-mail it to me.I'd be happy to translate it for you.

froogal said...

I love the idea of mono tasking, I always seem to be multi tasking and I find it much harder to do these days ( in my 50's post menopausal days) so I want to find more opportunities to mono, and I love polishing furniture.

lostpastremembered said...

Oh to mono-task!!! I often do 3 things at once and my dearly beloved accuses me of listening with 1/2 an ear... and he is right. I love polishing good furniture and use beeswax to do it (with a little oil) because I find the smell just too beautiful. I think you've inspired me to go a-polishing tomorrow and nothing else... at least for that while. Thanks for the lovely words, Dominique!

Ace said...

Eating an egg; reading this blog; writing a blog; with "Let's Take the Long Way Home" open on the Kindle. This is a good reminder to PICK ONE.

Raumkunst said...

Many years ago at a house party in Charlottesville, N.C., I met a lovely Irish gentlewoman who was visiting the U.S. for the furniture shows in NYC. Her own Georgian dining table from Dublin had been reproduced by a leading US furniture maker perhaps Baker, and she was their guest. I asked her if the reproduction looked exactly like her table and she said yes, except it "did not have the initials carved in it by that peculiar woman Biggy brought to dinner one night." Properly horrified, I asked when this had occurred and she replied, "oh, about twenty years ago. The poor thing was terribly upset about something and did not seem to know what she was doing. Nobody had the heart to stop her. Somehow I never got around to having it repaired and we got used to the scar." I think of this story every time someone leaves a ring on my table and remind myself to react like a lady.

Cristina said...

...absolutely enchanting.
(yeah, this one too!)
I do love the way you always manage to find a positive side, at least one, in whatever you're coping with at the moment. I MUST learn from you!

david terry said...

Dear Ms. Browning,

THANK YOU, as usual.

I've been gratified (perhaps overly so) by all these fairly-recent reports on the pitfalls and "downside" of multi-tasking.

Of course, I understand it's an utterly crucial ability for people such as two of my neighbors (who have full-time jobs, houses to manage, young children, husbands, etcetera, ad infinitum, world-without-end).

Still? Particularly over the past several years (during which time, I'll admit, either society is getting more frantic than ever, or perhaps I'm just/finally achieving my curmudgeon-dom), I find myself, on a regular basis, either dismayed or flat-out IRRITATED by someone claiming "Oh, don't worry...I'm GREAT at multi-tasking!"

I've come to regard that proclamation rather as I do the question "Can I put you on hold for a moment? I have a call coming in..." or "May I be frank with you?".......when it comes out of someone's mouth, I generally assume that he/she is about to say or do something that, finally, is just plain rude.

Just this past month, I visited a longtime friend who, among her many accomplishments, is an editor (along the lines of you in your H&G days; actually,I wouldn't be surprised if you knew her). In any case, I told her of a movie I'd really admired, and she said "Oh....bring it with you! We'll watch it TOGETHER!!!!".

I really like this movie, for some very personal (possibly silly, but still real) reasons.

We ended up sitting on her bed one evening, with the dogs around us and the DVD playing....and I realized she'd taken a manuscript from the bedside table and was editing it while the movie played.

I mentioned "Ummmm....do you not want to watch the movie?....this is a part you'd enjoy...". She looked over the edge of her reading glasses and calmly informed me "Oh...don't worry...I'm great at MULTI-TASKING....I've been able to watch a movie AND read for years....just let the movie play...".

And, yup...I picked an argument (the third time she reverted her attention to the manuscript during the first, crucial thirty minutes), shut the damn movie off, and told her that I could name at least one presumably-important thing that she wasn't managing to fit into her self-congratulatory "multi-tasking".Oh well...I understand that many people (given their jobs, familites, etc) HAVE to multi-task, but I've come to look askance at folks who go about trumpeting their supposed expertise at the business.

the two neighbor/mothers I mentioned earlier would be the first to say that they look forward to the day when "multi-tasking" isn't necessary.

Thanks again for the evocative (as usual) posting.

David Terry
www.davidterryart.com

Staircase Witch said...

Now I feel better about my cluttered dining room table. It's a big, oak plank table, meant to be forgiving of all kinds of mishaps, and on it are my textbooks from the courses I'm taking this semester, and a number of scientific monographs and software manuals belonging to my husband (a computer scientist) and a lot of his scratch paper, as well as receipts from his summer travels, some junk mail that was deposited there and never sorted, three novels that I had been reading at breakfast on weekends, and some medications and other belongings of a beloved cat who passed away this summer, with which I just can't seem to figure out what to do. Now that I look at it, the whole summer, in a way--all its sorrows and frustrations and little pleasures--is on that table. Perhaps it's time, finally, to clear things away, polish the table, and begin anew.

Gail said...

And yet you play Chopin's nocturnes and Bach preludes, extraordinary focused attention. I loved your summer blogs and can't wait 'til autumn.

Thea said...

there's something very theraputic about cleaning, polishing, ironing and organizing. recently painted the living room which meant clearing out a lot of 'stuff' and when it was ready to reassemble, it was a pleasure to cull the cluttery thingies. it seems i lifted the weight off this room's shoulders. and even though i painted the walls a coffee ice cream color, it's so bright!

cara said...

Welcome back, Dominique, after your 5-day blog hiatus. Worth the wait:-) Love how you hone in on the specific and mundane and spin it into something so meaningful.

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

I'm so glad to learn what "my problem" is - it's mono-tasking. I thought it was ADD! lol Seriously, I get so drawn into whatever I am doing that I accomplish little else. I can get so engrossed in what I am doing, that I do not "hear" people talking to me, my house gets terribly neglected--I simply cannot focus on anything else!!! I suppose like everything else in life, what we should strive for is a healthy balance--whatever that is!

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

Well, here I am again! See, I got so drawn into that one thought that I completely forgot the other part before I hit the button! I love your story of the table!
Last year my mom (suffering Alzheimer's Disease) had to move to an assisted living center. In the painful task of downsizing, my sister took the dining room table that we grew up with--oh there are so many stories associated with that wonderful hardrock maple table. From the indentations of my homework in the wood surface, to the wad of bubble gum stuck to my plate that fell into the beans just before company arrived (dad said for no one say a thing!), to the day his grandchildren watched as he was baptized as he sat at that table when he was 67 years old. I still recall the many trips we made downtown to the furniture store before my parents could decide to purchase this table. They never made quick decisions and our furniture was always really good pieces that "would last"! Thanks for your lovely post!

Arlene said...

Could only smile while reading your "rings on the table" post. I, too, found remnants of this summer's activity on our living room coffee table. My 11-year-old son pressed his pencil hard every day onto our local newspaper's sports section as he followed World Cup 2010. Complete standings and schedules are now embedded forever on our soft wood table. Spain vs. Portugal, Round of 16. Uruguay vs. Netherlands, Semi-Finals. At first, I wanted to sand then stain. I paused, smiled...and now relish in the memory of FIFA 2010. I will always know who won...Spain and me. My son will only be 11 once. What a wonderful memory these engravings will always be.

Thank you...

Dominique said...

I LOVE all your stories of the marks on your tables, and they made me feel better about my own messy way...and about the marks that aren't going to come out. The story about the dinner guest who carved into the Irish table had me laughing...and it reminded me of a terrible fight one of my sisters had with my mother, many years ago: we were forced to practice piano for hours and hours, and one afternoon, in a fury at having to repeat a piece yet again, my sister took out a knife and carved F U C K over the Steinway logo. You cannot even begin to imagine my mother's response.... She closed up the letters to make them look like a decorative pattern....

Re polish: I have tried Butcher's Wax, and I love the smell of it, but find it difficult to use properly. Now I am using HOWARD Feed-N-Wax, beeswax and orange oil, though I see it also has petroleum distillate. Is that bad? I don't know.

There is also Old Craftsmen's Brand White Ring Spot Remover...sometimes works...and if things are really bad I use a Minwax Blend-Fil Pencil...

Hadn't realized I had a 5-day Blog Hiatus...! I think that is going to happen from time to time as I need refreshing and resting! Sometimes the water level drops in the well...So sorry, and hope you can bear with me!

THEA: What coffee cream color did you use?

DAVID TERRY: As always, you are your own blogger, and I am still laughing at the thought of you and your friend in bed, watching a movie, and then you kicking her out. SO RIGHT ON! A good teaching moment and I trust you were gentle and kind? Though it sounds like she was not...did she not see that she was insulting you with her inattention?

Looking forward to reading Let's Take the Long Way Home...the NYT Book Review was so evocative. I was captivated by what the reviewer said about these women's friendship: that it had many of the elements that make a successful marriage.

And Scribbler: the rings as laugh lines! Gorgeous thought!

Thank you all.

Dominique

david terry said...

Dear Ms. Browning,

To answer your question?...

No, I wasn't, by any standards, "gentle" or "kind" during that "teaching moment". I patiently taught for years at prepskoolz (and, following that stint, at Duke). This, however, was one of those times when I reminded myself that I don't intend, at this stage of the game, to begin doing-for-free what I used to be underpaid to do. Basically, I let it rip. I didn't however, "kick her out" of her own bed. I just made a point of leaving her alone in it for yet another evening (Over the years,I've counseled her through two boyfriends and one fiancee, all of whom eventually left for similar reasons)

Incidentally (and just because several folks have written to me, asking what the movie was)? It was the very fine and subtle, 1996-0r-so version of "Persuasion", starring Amanda Root.

As for blogging? Folks keep telling me to start a blog, but I wouldn't know how to do that. (If my mother read that sentence, she'd probably mention that, since sometime in the Johnson adminstration, I've had a penchant for making my messes in other folks' houses). So, and for now, I prefer shadow-blogging.

In any case, just this week I realized that I have (on my studio desk and untouched).....(1) the program and learning manuals for Photoshop Elements...(2) the manuals for two new, too-expensive cameras I've been given but haven't learned to use...(3) The Rosetta Stone CD's for Italian...and (4) a pile of revisions from my webmistress regarding my own website, which has basically become an unorganized big box into which I've thrown everything I've done over ten years.

All in all, that's already a lot of work, and starting a blog would probably be too steep a learning curve for someone (me, to be precise) who has to rely on a bathroom mirror post-it note just to floss his teeth every morning.

As for "Let's Take the Long Way Home"?.... You should go to this link and listen to Diane Rehm's very fine, recent interview with Gail Godwin. Boht women are so honest, at certain points in the interview, that it'll make you blink..

go to:

http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2010-09-02/gail-caldwell-lets-take-long-way-home

And as for bloggers? Perhaps you don't know that you already have a very charming blogger who posts occasionally....Vicki Archer (her popular blog, and at least one of her books, is titled "French Essence"). I spent an afternoon with her in St. Remy this past summer and have since considered that, in the old H&G days, you would have happily done a feature on her house and garden. Both are lovely and surprising....although it's a bit difficult to determine where one ends and the other begins (that's a good thing, as Miss Martha says).

Among her talents?...She does amazing things with Surplus Military Camouflage Netting that would never occur to most of us. This is not a woman who sits around, looking for the Souleiado and Olivades catalogues in order to come up with an idea.

Well, thank you again. And, since I assume you must wonder?....a lot of my working-time is quite literally spent waiting for paint to dry, which is why I can write this much.

Level Best as Ever,

David Terry
www.davidterryart.com

david terry said...

Dear Ms. Browning,

To answer your question?...

No, I wasn't, by any standards, "gentle" or "kind" during that "teaching moment". I patiently taught for years at prepskoolz (and, following that stint, at Duke). This, however, was one of those times when I reminded myself that I don't intend, at this stage of the game, to begin doing-for-free what I used to be underpaid to do. Basically, I let it rip. I didn't however, "kick her out" of her own bed. I just made a point of leaving her alone in it for yet another evening (Over the years,I've counseled her through two boyfriends and one fiancee, all of whom eventually left for similar reasons)

Incidentally (and just because several folks have written to me, asking what the movie was)? It was the very fine and subtle, 1996-0r-so version of "Persuasion", starring Amanda Root.

As for blogging? Folks keep telling me to start a blog, but I wouldn't know how to do that. (If my mother read that sentence, she'd probably mention that, since sometime in the Johnson adminstration, I've had a penchant for making my messes in other folks' houses). So, and for now, I prefer shadow-blogging.

In any case, just this week I realized that I have (on my studio desk and untouched).....(1) the program and learning manuals for Photoshop Elements...(2) the manuals for two new, too-expensive cameras I've been given but haven't learned to use...(3) The Rosetta Stone CD's for Italian...and (4) a pile of revisions from my webmistress regarding my own website, which has basically become an unorganized big box into which I've thrown everything I've done over ten years.

All in all, that's already a lot of work, and starting a blog would probably be too steep a learning curve for someone (me, to be precise) who has to rely on a bathroom mirror post-it note just to floss his teeth every morning.

As for "Let's Take the Long Way Home"?.... You should go to this link and listen to Diane Rehm's very fine, recent interview with Gail Godwin. Boht women are so honest, at certain points in the interview, that it'll make you blink..

go to:

http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2010-09-02/gail-caldwell-lets-take-long-way-home

And as for bloggers? Perhaps you don't know that you already have a very charming blogger who posts occasionally....Vicki Archer (her popular blog, and at least one of her books, is titled "French Essence"). I spent an afternoon with her in St. Remy this past summer and have since considered that, in the old H&G days, you would have happily done a feature on her house and garden. Both are lovely and surprising....although it's a bit difficult to determine where one ends and the other begins (that's a good thing, as Miss Martha says).

Among her talents?...She does amazing things with Surplus Military Camouflage Netting that would never occur to most of us. This is not a woman who sits around, looking for the Souleiado and Olivades catalogues in order to come up with an idea.

Well, thank you again. And, since I assume you must wonder?....a lot of my working-time is quite literally spent waiting for paint to dry, which is why I can write this much.

Level Best as Ever,

David Terry
www.davidterryart.com

david terry said...

Dear Ms. Browning,

To answer your question?...

No, I wasn't, by any standards, "gentle" or "kind" during that "teaching moment". I patiently taught for years at prepskoolz (and, following that stint, at Duke). This, however, was one of those times when I reminded myself that I don't intend, at this stage of the game, to begin doing-for-free what I used to be underpaid to do. Basically, I let it rip. I didn't however, "kick her out" of her own bed. I just made a point of leaving her alone in it for yet another evening (Over the years,I've counseled her through two boyfriends and one fiancee, all of whom eventually left for similar reasons)

Incidentally (and just because several folks have written to me, asking what the movie was)? It was the very fine and subtle, 1996-0r-so version of "Persuasion", starring Amanda Root.

As for blogging? Folks keep telling me to start a blog, but I wouldn't know how to do that. (If my mother read that sentence, she'd probably mention that, since sometime in the Johnson adminstration, I've had a penchant for making my messes in other folks' houses). So, and for now, I prefer shadow-blogging.

In any case, just this week I realized that I have (on my studio desk and untouched).....(1) the program and learning manuals for Photoshop Elements...(2) the manuals for two new, too-expensive cameras I've been given but haven't learned to use...(3) The Rosetta Stone CD's for Italian...and (4) a pile of revisions from my webmistress regarding my own website, which has basically become an unorganized big box into which I've thrown everything I've done over ten years.

All in all, that's already a lot of work, and starting a blog would probably be too steep a learning curve for someone (me, to be precise) who has to rely on a bathroom mirror post-it note just to floss his teeth every morning.

As for "Let's Take the Long Way Home"?.... You should go to this link and listen to Diane Rehm's very fine, recent interview with Gail Godwin. Boht women are so honest, at certain points in the interview, that it'll make you blink..

go to:

http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2010-09-02/gail-caldwell-lets-take-long-way-home

And as for bloggers? Perhaps you don't know that you already have a very charming blogger who posts occasionally....Vicki Archer (her popular blog, and at least one of her books, is titled "French Essence"). I spent an afternoon with her in St. Remy this past summer and have since considered that, in the old H&G days, you would have happily done a feature on her house and garden. Both are lovely and surprising....although it's a bit difficult to determine where one ends and the other begins (that's a good thing, as Miss Martha says).

Among her talents?...She does amazing things with Surplus Military Camouflage Netting that would never occur to most of us. This is not a woman who sits around, looking for the Souleiado and Olivades catalogues in order to come up with an idea.

Well, thank you again. And, since I assume you must wonder?....a lot of my working-time is quite literally spent waiting for paint to dry, which is why I can write this much.

Level Best as Ever,

David Terry
www.davidterryart.com

david terry said...

ooops....so sorry....please delete the first two postings). That must be very irritating. For some reason, the server kept konking-out on me, and I thought nothing was posting...

My apologies (and I'd delete these if I knew how to do so, myself).

----david terry (and please delete this comment also....I don't know what your monthly rent is on this space, but there's no need for me to take up all of it)

david terry said...

ooops....so sorry....please delete the first two postings). That must be very irritating. For some reason, the server kept konking-out on me, and I thought nothing was posting...

My apologies (and I'd delete these if I knew how to do so, myself).

----david terry (and please delete this comment also....I don't know what your monthly rent is on this space, but there's no need for me to take up all of it)

Anonymous said...

P.S...a couple of hours later...It's Gail CALDWELL....not Gail Godwin (who's a southern writer). Both are fine writers....but they're different people. I'm fairly sure they both would insist on maintaining the distinction.

abashedly yours,

david terry

Emily said...

Thankyou for this wonderful idea of doing one thing and doing it well! What great advice - I plan to use it with my kids- just listening and talking with them, not trying to do it at the same time as cooking, cleaning, washing, etc!

Thea said...

I used Behr's Paint and Primer all in one - Brown Teepee - but it really does look like Hagen Daz Coffee Ice Cream! haha But I love it. By the way,
speaking of mono tasking, I LOVE to take out all my good linens once a year, wash them and iron them. It takes all day. Don't know why I like doing that, but I do!

Anonymous said...

To clean is always a dream!

J. Gill said...

"Mono-tasking." Thanks, now I know a term for it.

"I began to polish, because the table needs to be fed, too. I have hauled that table from one house to another for 26 years. I had it made in Texas the year my older son was born, from planks of pecan wood that I selected, in honor of the pecan trees that once covered the Austin area."

Why am I not surprised that you lived in Austin too. I had the pleasure of living there from 1986 - 2003. I still love it, I still have friends there who I stay with from time to time. It's a wonderful counter-point to my living in the cold, damp Pacific Northwest.

Jennifer G.

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